Forgiving and Forgetting: How to Get There


Psychologists often insist that emotional health starts with forgiveness.

Nonetheless, you may have questions about forgiving a person who has hurt you badly. You must be able and willing to focus your emotions on forgiveness and give up the idea of revenge. If you can do this, you will be able to obtain your goal. Although you will always remember what happened, there is a form of “forgetting” you can do by choosing to turn your back on the past and walking to the future.

Follow these four key steps towards being able to forgive and forget:

1. Acceptance.

The first step towards forgiving and forgetting is accepting the fact that you were wronged. You can no longer deny whatever took place, and you have to come up with a way to reconcile it. Acceptance is that all-important beginning of a happy, new journey.

2. Allow healing to happen.

It’s necessary to allow yourself enough time to be healed. The amount of time necessary to feel relief from your pain varies as each person heals differently.

  • If there is any way to do it, it may be a good idea to avoid spending a lot of time around the person you are trying to forgive, allowing you space for reflection and healing.

3. Keep your relationship strong.

Every relationship of every type requires some nurture if it is going to stay strong. If you allow bad feelings to keep you from taking care of your relationship for very long, it may well slip quietly away.

  • After the seeds of healing have been planted and are sprouting, slowly start to share some time with one another. Have a meal out, hang out at home, or take a walk at the park. The location is of little significance; however, the company is essential in revitalizing your relationship.

4. Keep on trying to build trust.

That should be done while you are also revitalizing the relationship. The individual who caused you pain should be conscientiously working to re-earn your trust. Stay available to the times when they want to offer affection and apologize for things they’ve done wrong. Holding a grudge is a great way to stay stuck in a rut forever.

  • And it’s key to show the other person, particularly a spouse, to understand that they can trust you. If they violated you in a particularly awful way, it’s possible they anticipate you will want to get even. Genuinely try to help them understand that you want to make up and begin again.

To head onward requires your willingness to abandon what you once held as truth and, with your partner, embark on a fresh reality. That’s the basis for true forgiveness that goes along with forgetting the wrong done.

In this situation, both people need to cooperate to fix the wrongdoing and move on. A genuine attempt is required of both you and the individual in question. If you have been wronged, you may think it is unfair to have to put effort into forgiveness; however, ultimately it is the only way to be free of the prison of blame.

Change is possible. It is possible to trust once more if both people in the relationship are committed to making it happen. It may take a great deal of time to heal; however, if you both commit to the process, you will be able to build upon your own happiness, and a happy and lasting relationship will result.


About Exceptional People Magazine

Exceptional People Magazine is where self empowerment, hope and inspiration happen. I’m Monica Davis the founder of Exceptional People Magazine and my mission is to enhance the quality of life of all people by promoting goodwill, unity and better living through positive media. Through this magazine you will be inspired to reach new heights.

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