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Why Self-Reliance Is Valuable in a Relationship
Being in an intimate relationship with the one you love is stimulating and enjoyable. Many people refer to a partnership as “two halves of a whole.” But this statement is far from accurate.
The most successful relationships involve a pair of stable individuals. Each person lives an independent life, and each of them wants to open their life up for sharing with the other.
Here are just some explanations of the importance of a balance of togetherness and separateness:
1. Independence makes your relationship more invigorating to the intellect.
When both partners have individual interests, there is more opportunity for interesting discussion and exchange with each other.
- Maybe he wants to kayak, and she loves to learn about history. Each of them can enjoy their own interests to the fullest extent yet share one another’s enthusiasm.
2. The partners can count on one another’s backing when necessary.
When each person is independent, they can still rely on one another when life becomes challenging or difficult. At its root, relationships are partnerships. It’s a relief to know that you can rely on the other person.
- When you know that your partner can manage anything without you when you can’t be at their side, it relieves you of needless worry.
- There is a give-and-take in relationships where one partner must look to the other for strength.
3. A pair of self-reliant individuals in a relationship make for a nicely balanced relationship.
When both of you are independent, the relationship is much healthier. No one has to fill just one role.
- In the absence of a balance, sometimes one partner takes on a dominant role in a relationship; the other one, by default, becomes the “weaker” partner. An equal balance assures that neither partner has more power than the other.
4. The relationship is strengthened.
When two self-reliant individuals enter into a relationship, their time together can be almost transcendental. An underpinning of independence is vital for each person, and quality time is enhanced when each partner is able to share enjoyed experiences with the other.
When you accept one another as complete human beings, you can enjoy independence within your relationship. This will lead to a fuller and more lasting experience of total partnership.
5. You’re more emotionally secure when you retain your feeling of independence.
That is to the advantage of each partner.
- Stable individuals are more comfortable with demonstrating both strength and gentleness.
- Independent individuals are usually more forthcoming and frank in a relationship. Because you know they are self-reliant, you can be assured that your partner will manage regardless of your words or actions.
- At the end of the day, perhaps one of you is exhausted. The other can come in and revive the other or bring fresh new ideas to the table.
- Neither person involved in the relationship will experience feelings of threat based on the other person’s sense of emotional security, personal strength, and autonomy.
Independent individuals are capable of forming a truly profound bond between them and their partner. When both partners enjoy an independent side, they will feel that in their balanced relationship, they can talk about their unique passions, and they can count on one another for enthusiastic support.
That’s why it’s better for healthy relationships to have an element of independence.