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Letting Go of Old Family Hurts
Every family is complicated, and each person typically experiences a certain amount of unpleasant emotions from situations that took place while living at home with parents.
All families have problems. Even though your parents might have tried very hard to provide you with a happy, safe childhood, they could not control everything. Sometimes, unexpected events occur.
Because of this unfortunate predicament, you may experience sad feelings, hurtful emotions, phobias, and disappointments in your life that result from time spent growing up with your parents.
People often talk about having emotional baggage in their lives. Baggage means painful emotions that we carry with us like suitcases filled with clothes; the only way to get rid of unwanted emotional baggage is to eliminate it right away. In order to live a full life, it is mandatory that you put old family hurts behind you.
Doing these things can help you step away from your baggage and the limitations it places on you:
1. Make a list of things that have caused you hurt or disappointment.
It is possible to have a very long list or a brief one that includes just a few items. It really does not matter whether your list is short or long; the most important thing is that writing down your painful experiences will enable you to discern the events that bother you now.
2. Reflect on each of your recorded issues, giving thought to the depth of their meaning to you.
For each item on your list, write down the feelings you had when the event occurred as well as your current feelings about the situation. You may understand your reactions better if you write down everything about what happened.
- When you have finished with this exercise, you may find that you are no longer as upset about a particular incident as you were before. At this point, perhaps you will be able to allow yourself to let the incident go.
3. Take note of how your life is currently being affected by this baggage that you’re still carrying.
Incidents that occurred long ago may still be having an impact on the way in which you deal with many aspects of your life currently.
- Do you feel threatened by the idea of too much intimacy?
- Do you go from one relationship to another in a short amount of time, only to discover that the other individual lacks the qualities you seek in a long-lasting relationship?
- Maybe you are allowing your anger to eat away at those close, loving relationships.
- Whatever the reason, make an attempt to relate hurtful incidents in your past with your current life so that you can examine the hurtful feelings caused by the previous events.
4. Remind yourself that you deserve a better life than one spent carrying around the hurt of old wounds.
You deserve a life better than one damaged by wounds from past hurts.
5. Resolve to simply let it go.
Tell yourself that you will not allow an incident that occurred so far in the past to affect you.
Try one of the following methods that can help you to release yourself from past hurts:
- Write all of the past problems you remember on pieces of paper and insert the papers into balloons. Take the balloons outside, inflate them, then release them. Watch as they drift away, and tell yourself that they are taking your pain along with them.
- A similar strategy is to write the old wounds down on pieces of paper, which are then burned. While observing your papers burning in your wood stove or natural fireplace, envision all of the past hurts burning in the flames and disappearing from your life.
6. As an adult, it’s possible that you’ll have a better understanding of the events and wounds of the past.
When you finally know what caused your pain, convince your inner being that the truth about what happened is finally out in the open. You now have an understanding of the issue that you previously lacked. This will help you to let it go and move on from the past.
7. Commend yourself on the work you have done to release your emotional baggage.
You have been carrying around its weight for a long time. And now, you’ve finally freed yourself from it. Commend yourself for doing such a great job.
There are effective strategies you can follow to heal the wounds and let go of the pain inflicted long ago by family hurts. Once you let go of the pain you have held onto for a long time, you are bound to feel much better. Try to put the past behind you so you can enjoy a better present and future.